"lo torcrida ca lo nu tirna lo du'u ma kau pu fasnu cu cusku «lu lo tolci'o te zarci cu me no na'e bo lo cevycau noltruni'u..."
I assume "ca lo nu tirna lo du'u ma kau pu fasnu" is intended to be "when they heard what happened" . But I have a few problems with it. I don't think you can "tirna" a "lo du'u" And in any case, the import of the sentence is really when they found out or were informed of what happened, so I'd suggest "ca lo nu facki fi lo pu fasnu" or "ca lo nu se jungau fo lo pu fasnu" If you really want to emphasize the aural nature of their information transfer, you could "do ca lo nu tirna tu'a lo pu fasnu" (also, you might use "selfri" instead of "fasnu" in any of the above)
As for "...me no na'e bo lo cevycau noltruni'u" That means the tradesperson is one of the zero amount of non-"godless queen" I understand you are trying to go for "none other than the godless queen", but I don't think you can do it that way. You are trying to state someone is a member of a 0 cardinality set, I believe. I understand you want to get the emphasis connoted by the original. I think maybe "lo tolci'o ja'a du lo cevycau noltruni'u" would do the same.
--gejyspa